How Can I Get My Mind To Shut Up?

How Can I Find The 'Off-Switch'?

If there’s one thing that I hear on a regular basis it’s this – “I need an “off-switch for my mind”. 

For most of us our minds have a way of running wild — spiralling through worries, replaying past conversations, and predicting worst-case scenarios. It can be relentless and exhausting.

Over the last five and a half years being alcohol-free I’ve discovered a few things about my mind and I’m learning to tame it, most of the time. Here’s some insight into why our minds can be so difficult to reign in, and some tips on how to handle the noise for a little more peace and quiet,

Stopping The Mental Noise

You can quieten your mind, but it takes faith, time and practice.  And it can only be tamed if we remain conscious, and that’s hard to do when we’re drinking.

Our brains are wired for survival, not silence. Based on thousands of years of being used to scan for potential threats, and trying to make sense of the world, it keeps a running commentary on just about everything.

Our minds can be a wonderful tool when we are trying to solve problems or be creative, but it’s not so great when it’s 2 AM and it won’t stop reminding you about that embarrassing thing you said five years ago or how you’re going to speak in front to people the next day.

The main reasons your mind won’t quiet down include:

🔹 Overstimulation – If we’re spending too much time in ‘fight, flight’ mode due to stress, too much caffeine, alcohol or screen time the brain gets overstimulated and stays in ‘high alert’

🔹 Unprocessed Emotions – When we push our feelings down, and hold everything in, the emotions can resurface when we’re trying to relax.
🔹 Anxiety & Stress – Stress can be good when it motivates us to complete a task, but our brains often fixate on everything that could go wrong to prepare us for danger. This can turn into chronic anxiety which manifests as ‘what if’ or ‘I can’t’.
🔹 Habitual Overthinking – If you’ve spent years over-analysing, your brain will default to that pattern. It’s another form of addiction in way, we become used to and reliant on over-thinking to try and prevent things going wrong.

The good news? You can train your mind to quieten down.

How to Quiet the Mental Noise

1.  Give Your Mind a Job

Our minds love to latch onto something—so instead of letting it run rouge on the ‘what if’s’ give it something useful to focus on. Try:

✅ Breathing exercises (like the physiological sigh: two quick inhales through the nose, one slow exhale)
✅ Repeating a mantra to focus the mind and bring it into the present moment – mantra translates as ‘ tool for the mind’  (e.g., I am here now)
✅ Count backwards from 100
✅ Listen to calming sounds or white noise

These techniques redirect your focus, making it harder for anxious thoughts to take over.

2.  Use the "Not Now" Technique

Your brain will try to drag you into unnecessary thoughts. When you catch yourself spiralling, say:

“ Not now. I’ll think about this later”

This tells your brain it’s not urgent. Set a designated “worry time” each day—15 minutes where you allow yourself to think about what’s bothering you. Over time, your mind learns to postpone overthinking instead of letting it run wild all day.

3.  Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Body

When thoughts feel overwhelming, shift into movement:

🚶‍♂️ Go for a walk
💪 Do a quick workout
💦 Take a cold shower
🧘‍♀️ Try progressive muscle relaxation (tense and release each muscle group)

Physical action grounds you in the present and interrupts anxious thought loops.

4.  Get The Thoughts Out

Writing down your worries declutters your mind. Journaling helps us process emotions and makes abstract fears feel more manageable. Try:

📌 Brain-dump before bed
📌 Write a letter to your anxious mind – this will separate you from the thoughts.
📌 Creating a “thoughts to let go of” list

Once your thoughts are on paper, your brain doesn’t feel the need to keep replaying them.

5.  Stop Fighting Your Thoughts

This is likely the most powerful tool I have learned because paradoxically, the more you try to stop thinking, the louder your thoughts get.

Instead of resisting, practice detachment:

👀 Observe your thoughts instead of engaging with them.
💭 Label them—"Ah, that’s an anxious thought” or “That’s just my brain being dramatic.”
🛑 Don’t argue with them—let them pass like leaves on a stream (Here’s a link to a short practice that takes you through this process)

 This is mindfulness. It teaches you that you are not your thoughts—they’re just temporary mental noise.

The Bottom Line

 Your mind will never be completely silent so remember this is not the goal, but you can turn down the volume. By redirecting your focus, grounding yourself in the present, and learning to observe thoughts rather than fight them, you’ll find more peace.

Remember too that this takes practice and there will be some times when the mind will be very resistant.  Imagine you’re dealing with a small petulant child, and when it has a tantrum it’s best to just sit back and wait it out.

Here’s piece a wrote a while back when my mind was super busy.

My Mind Is Driving Me Nuts

The page is taking too long to load. I have to get this out of my head, somewhere, anywhere. The thoughts jostling about in my mind like pinballs, firing in all directions. I need to get some of them down the holes so it can stop. The noise has to stop.

My brain feels like an engine about to explode and I need to escape. Now.

I slow my breath and relax my fingers on the keyboard. I come back. I am here now. There is no need to panic.

What triggered this frantic descent into panic, confusion, fear, doubt?

"You’re not good enough, Sarah. You’re just not brilliant, perfect, flawless. You have to be, but you never will be."

The voice gleefully leapt about in my brain like a mischievous child who just got its own way again. Delighted but also uncertain —because it knows, as do I, that a lack of discipline and consistency will see us both disappointed. We can’t let ourselves run away like this.

I step back to watch this uncoordinated dance. I know most of the steps. I know the rhythm and how we try to outmanoeuvre each other—the dramatic lifts, the inelegant tumbles, the frantic turns and ambitious leaps. The music slows, and for a moment, we connect. We look into each other's eyes and say, I know you.

You are just trying to make something sense of this moment by searching for meaning in a past that no longer exists and an uncertain future. You are afraid.

And here I am—present. Quiet. Still.

As I take my rightful position, I see the dance. I watch in awe, a Mona Lisa smile on my lips. There we are, at it again. And I was right there with you, lost in the frantic beats.

My physical body joins us —through breath, through the tap of my fingers, through the weight of my feet on the floor. And I am here now, setting the pace.

In front of me, you lie on the floor, panting, exhausted, energy drained as the excitement and drama abate. A low hum of a lullaby plays in the background, soothing, calming.

I give you this. This is what you need.

You lie still, your energy rising and falling like the gentle breath of early sleep.

Your eyelids flutter open as you turn to me—shameful, guilty, sad, frustrated. Not again.

And I see you clearly, I’m not in there with you anymore.

I may join you for the drama from time to time, but I am the Director of this spectacle. And I feel no shame that occasionally I forget —so neither should you.

You only do what I’ve trained you to do.

I watch you now, amazed at your tenacity and determination. You have swirled me around on the dancefloor for years. I was caught up, fully immersed, giddy from the relentless and fluctuating beats of my experience—unable to extract myself, because I did not know I could.

We will always be together, until the end, so we may as well get along because when we do we both find peace.

But if we are going to dance, I must remember that I can lead, I must lead.

Love

Sarah